Tuesday, February 2, 2010

JaMarcus King for a Day!

Im guessing 6 months....

Well, the good folks of Mobile, Alabama have decided to honor JaMarcus for his amazing talents at medocrity by naming him king of their Mardi Gras.  The article details how JaMarcus is proud of his accomplishment and how garish his ensemble will be on parade day.  Also how he apparently has, "thousands of fans."  That's one extended family he's got going there.

In addition, there are some interesting factoids about our favorite walrus of the gridiron including his personal charity, The Arthur "Ray Ray" Russell Foundation for Rolling Readers.  With his $30 million guaranteed money, JaMarcus provides two schools with $1,000 worth of library books every year to help students excel in reading....so long as they are rolling.

I do like the Fat Albert crossed with Mayor McCheese look.  The black jacket hides his pregnancy well.  Hopefully it will fit through his third trimester. 

Even Albert is suprised by the resemblance

Assuming he will have his child before reporting to Spring "training" it will be interesting to see how he gets along with new offensive coordinator/latest attempt of Al Davis to try to fix his sinking ship, Hue Jackson.  Hue Jackson was instrumental in developing Joe Flacco of the Baltimore Ravens into being a decent quarterback so Al naturally assumes he will be do the same for McCheese here.  Problem is Flacco actually cares and is willing put his neck out there.  Jackson will fail in his attempt to get JaMarcus to contribute and Tom Cable will be booted as the head coach as surely as JaMarcus will be the improbable starter on gameday.

But I actually feel bad for Cable since Al Davis hired back Randy Hanson, the same assistance coach that Cable punched in the face and that ran like a bitch to the Oakland PD, the NFL, and every news organziation on the planet to smear Cable, the Raiders, and even Al himself.  But instead of just paying the cancer cell to get out of Dodge, Davis would rather save a few bucks and have the dysfucntion of this team continue to fester and guarantee yet another season of double digit losses.

Which is why Nnamdi Asomugha was making comments at the Pro Bowl of how he'd love to team-up with peer Darelle Revis of the Jets or basically be in any other defensive backfield in the NFL.  As expected, the Raiders best player and shutdown specialist will be out of Oakland as fast as his agent will allow.  Word is that Davis will probably shop him for "talent" but considering how Hayward-Bey and Mike Mitchell were two of the worst draft picks of all-time and the mad genious fail of the Seymour trade, it will be assuredly be more magic beans for the Silver and Black.

But at least we'll have JaMarcus.