Friday, October 30, 2009

I think I'll call you Chet

Look the same, smell the same for sure.

I fully expect us to get beatdown by the Chargers.  Im thinking a final score of 47-10.  I can't BELIEVE you got another chance to start but hey crazy Al seems to think INTs and fumbles are positive events for a QB.

If you EVER, EVER had one ounce of self-respect you would play your heart out Sunday but I know you're 30 million is staring you in the face like those GIECO ads and you won't give a damn.

Is it 2010 yet?

Monday, October 26, 2009


You have done it. You have supplanted Ryan Leaf as THE biggest bust of the NFL draft EVER. Leaf is dancing in his Texas jail cell as he is being replaced in the record books by your awfulness. You will be forever remembered as the quintessential overpaid, over-hyped, me-first, could care less football player that has so much talent but is rewarded on potential and not proof. Your pay to performance ratio will undoubtedly change the rules of football contracts as we know it with the new collective bargaining agreement. Rookie salary cap anyone?

To you, its just about counting that $30 million guaranteed. To you, its not how you win or lose, just how you eat the gumbo.

After you got benched, you were laughing on the sideline?

Maybe it was at your stat line:

6-11 61 yards 2 INTS, 1 lost fumble - QB rating 31.1

Gradkowski, your TOLEDO COLLEGE backup played twice as good as you after you were benched and actually drove the team into Jets territory. He was drafted in the 6th round. He makes the league minimum $450,000.

Tom was sharp as ever Sunday with this keen observation of Jamarcus' play: "I thought he was really out of sorts early in the game,” Cable said. “I just did not feel like at that point he gave us the best chance to have the success we needed to have offensively and made the move."

But Tom Cable has promised more JaMarcus next week! The show MUST go on! According to dear leader Al, er, Tom, "JaMarcus will continue to be our starter. There is no issue there.” Probably because Russell disagreed with coach and said he felt "just fine but that the results weren’t there." Maybe this is what the auto and banking industries should have told Congress to get off the hook.

I actually though that was your curtain call, your final performance before you fade into obscurity and then found years later in some Maury Povich expose where you have exploded into a gelatinous supernova and have to be removed from your home by tow truck. But Al and Tom wants to make sure there will never be a challenge to your throne. I agree. Plus this blog lives to see another day.

All hail the king!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A word to NFL coaches....

A word to other NFL coaches: Never ever EVER let your QB talk to Jamarcus. Apparently his suckness rubs off on them if you do. Thanks Andy Reid!

Now on to Jamarcus. Anyone catch his JaMohawk today?

17 of 28, 224 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs 68.2 rating. Your best effort this year but dont start thinking about MVP trophies just yet. 68.2 is still horrible and those INTs were your usual "I dont know whos who out there" overthrow madness.

Lets thank the defense, Zach Miller and Justin Fargas for pulling this one out. Super props go to rookie Louis Murphy who threw two HUGE blocks to open up Miller for the score. We're still in for a long season but that was a nice win.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fat slob or just overstuffed with potential?

Well, Raider fans, coaches, and bloggers have been spouting this "potential" and "upside" vomit the last three years, here's how he improved on last weeks game:

8-13, 100 yards, 0 TDs 0 INTS, OK no turnovers....oh wait.....3 FUMBLES!?! Also you were sacked six times since you are completely immobile. But let's not blame you, it's your fat's fault.

Apparently you and work ethic dont get along. However, we have a pretty banged up OL, maybe soon you can start making holes for Fargas and Bush! That must be Tom Cable's plan all along - create a new super-back position that can play the C and QB position combined!

This team is so horrid, so awful, so mismanaged and broken, it's going to take years to fix but since Al wont die, you gotta go blubber boy. And no that pic IS NOT doctored, you're that fat.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Two reasons

....that I expect you to to suck more than you've sucked before and that's saying ALOT.


and this:

I would have had 3 if Eli wasnt hurt even though I think Manning with one arm and no legs could somehow do better than you.

I cant wait to see what kind of worst QB records you break this week. Hey, Akili Smith and Ryan Leaf are counting on you!

Tom Cable is probably praying for jail before game time.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Where my Raider fan money goes...

Isn't this guy's fur coat awesome? Just look at it! (Apologies to "look at my striped shirt! Great to know us Raider fans paid for it. Love to see this guy living the high life with his guaranteed $29 million and his 42.4 passer rating. Oh, and this gem taken recently at a Bay Area nightclub.

Look at my gut! Just look at it! Jesus fucking Christ! That isnt a quarterback, its Big Pussy from The Sopranos. The Biggest Loser jokes are just too easy. What the fuck is his problem? Other than his weight problems, accuracy problems, decision making problems, motivational problems....

Oh and since this blog started week 4, lets do a throwback stat post to week 3 where he faced the now 4-0 Denver Broncos. 12 for 21....for 61 yards! WTF? That's not throwing a football thats playing hot potato. Add the 2 INTS that looked like he was playing for Denver and you get an astronomically low 22.6 passer rating. Thats like scoring 100 on your SATs - I didnt think the test could score so low....

PS - from ESPN today:

Player News (last updated: October 7, 2009)
News: According to CBS analyst Boomer Esiason, Russell has already been fined heavily for being overweight and being late to meetings, the LA Times reports.

Maybe the Raiders need to hire this guy for Jamarcus Pyle:

As the sergeant says, we're payin' for it......

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!

Augh, after reading a ton of Raider blogs, I have this to say:

STOP DRINKING THE KOOL-AID. This guy is NOT our QB of the future, nor any team's QB of the future. How many years does it take for him to develop? He's had 3 freaking years and he's only gotten worse. Especially if you believe the rumors of him not even studying game film. Augh.
The team has a lot of problems, most noticibly at the top (but the die Al die blog is for another day. One goon at a time...). But it starts with J-Bust.
The blogs that defended him really buy this guy will eventually be all world talent. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. They say that or do one of two things:
1. Blame the offensive line. Did you see Aaron Rodgers last night? He had no offensive linemen that could stop the pass rush, was on his back half the game but still put up some impressive numbers. Do you know that the Texans were putting NINE (yes thats 9 out of a possible 11 players) in the box against the run on us? You know what that means? It means that Texas essentially said, "Yeah, your guy sucks."
2. Blame the recievers. Yes they dropped passes but they need passes that are within 10 yards of them to catch it. Russell clearly isnt communicating well with his wideouts in the huddle and thats another reason he must go, hes not a team leader.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

This guy sucks

12-33 for 128 yards and a nifty 48.5 QB rating. Awesome.
Well, at least no INTs this week.
Yes, this picture is from another game where Jamarcus stunk up the place but Im too busy throwing up to find a new one.
This guy needs to GO.