Wednesday, December 16, 2009

OUR DAY OF INFAMY: April 28, 2007

This was the day Al basically threw the franchise over the abyss.  By drafting the fattest dumbest QB in a century but who could throw a ball inaccurately 60 yards from his knees, Al basically doomed the Raiders proud history.

Honorable mention is the 2009 Draft where he basically confirmed that he is a worthless piece of shit at evaluating talent these days by drafting 3rd team All-ACC Darrius Heyward Bey and no team anywhere Mike Mitchell in the 2nd

The team was already mired in mediocrity for 5 years after Al basically was TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING EGO MANIAC AND CHEAP BASTARD to let Gruden run and be the face of the team.  Oh and all those FUCKING RETARDS saying Gruden didnt want to be a part of the Raiders - here he is this week when he went to SF to work MNF:

THAT makes me want to cry.  The guy BLED Silver and Black and Al cast him aside for less money than he gave Jaworthless.  Everyone wanted Chucky to be the face of the Raiders and only you couldnt deal with that.

I thought this blog was done when Gradkowski was named the starter but God doesnt like me and my fellow Raider fans so he promply took him out with a season ending knee injury.  Then JaMarcus came into the game and put up the following stat line: 10-16 for 74 yards, 1 INT and......6 1 half.  Basically if this FAT FUCK wasnt throwing laterally to his halfback like a handoff, he got sacked, didnt complete the pass or got intercepted.  And again...6 sacks in one HALF.  If you saw the game the O-line essentially quit on him - just as everyone except his mother should do.

Word is he wont start again this year so maybe this blog will be retired once more.  One thing is for certain, everyone witnessing this catastrophe wont see anything like this ever again.  Lame-arcus is literally rewriting the book on shitty QBs and the dangers of drafting a crappy one.

Happy Hannukah Al - hopefully for the rest of us this will be your last, YOU WORTHLESS SENILE OLD FUCK.

Monday, November 16, 2009


I knew the season was shot on draft day but you always have hope for the teams you love.  But in losing to the Chiefs at home for the 7th time IN A ROW, the Raiders season is effectively over.  Jesus could come down from heaven and single-handedly win every game from here on out and we wouldnt make the playoffs.

JaMarcus' stat line looked like that of Allen Iverson's: 9 for 24 shooting.  For 67 yards.  And a 45.3 passer rating.  Thankfully he did get pulled in the 3rd quarter but you can bet your bottom dollar that he will start next week when Cinci comes to town and will fully capitalize on his awfulness.

Honorable mention also goes to #1 draft pick, Darrius Heyward-Bey who looked like the #3 All-ACC guy we drafted.  Dropped balls, bad routes.  Although with how bad Russell was throwing the ball, the entire receiving corps looked like they were trying out for Cirque de Soleil as they contorted themselves every which way to try to make a play on Russell's uncatchable throws.

What is worse is the fact that as a knowlegeable fan and not some Kool-Aid drinking Hitler youth like some Raider fans seem to be on the Raider blogs, this situation will NOT change until the guy at the top kicks over.  So with that, all I can say is......DIE AL DIE.

Fuck this team.

Fuck this team.

Fuck this team.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bye week and favorite Raider quotes this season SO FAR:

Really, there have been ALOT.  The Raiders organization has shown their commitment to excellence both on and off the field this season.  From the head coach assaulting oh, everyone to amazing draft picks, the Raiders are showing time and again why they have had the worse record in the NFL the last 7 years.

So with that and with no game to complain about this week, the top quotes this season from my team.  In no particular order since Im sure everyone will find thier favorite.

I’m excited about still letting Oakland see what Javon has to offer because I’m young. I’m in my prime right now. My ability hasn’t changed, my enthusiasm hasn’t changed. I’m just excited to be back to the Javon that was that first year in Denver and the Javon that was in Green Bay and all of a sudden translate it to here. So, that’s what I’m most excited about.” – Javon Walker in training camp.  His performance this year:  0 catches. 0 plays.

Having little quarrels is good, remember that this is football and they’re men. If you have a brother you know it’s OK to settle some things once in awhile.” – Tom Cable on fights in camp.  This is before the beatdown of assistant Randy Hanson but apparently after his altercations with his wife and two other women.

"Cable, bumaye" - What Raiders players chanted to Tom Cable at practice after the assault on Hanson.  This is a reference to when Ali fought George Foreman in Zaire.  Translation?  "Cable, kill him."

I think Russell was in here at 6:30. That’s step one. The thing’s he continues to need to do is stay the course and just maybe do a little bit more.” - Raiders QB Charlie Frye in week SEVEN talking about Jamarcus improving his work ethic and actually trying to earn his $30 million guaranteed.

"Obviously, on certain plays, things happen that are beyond your control.  But, other than that, I think I did alright." - Jamarcus Russell after his 22.2 QB rating stinkbomb against Denver at home where he threw for 61 yards 0 TDs and 2 INTs.

"I've been very solid" - First round pick Darrius Heyward-Bey on his play through the first 8 weeks of the season.  He has 5 catches for 74 yards.....all year.  Holdout Michael Crabtree had as many catches his first game.  Other first rounders Percy Harvin and Jeremy Maclin have over 350 yards receiving and 3 TDs each plus done PR/KR work.

"I do not like knocking teams. But right now, they're struggling. We're playing that game the other day and, honestly, it felt like a scrimmage, like a practice," - Giants LB Antonio Pierce after thier 44-7 destruction of the Raiders in week 5.

"We're just one solid week from turning this around and getting it all together.  We just need to get that spark." - Tom Cable on the Raiders at 2-6 going into the bye week.

"ESPN's role in this matter must be carefully examined. ESPN routinely disseminates falsehoods about the Raiders. During the last year, ESPN (working with someone who was in this organization) engaged in a calculated effort to distort the truth about the Raiders, utilizing lies and innuendo."  - official response from the Raiders organization after ESPN broke story about Cable's past women bashing.  Yup, even ESPN is out to get the Raiders!  We are completely delusional from the top down.

“I'm new to this aspect of football.  At Florida, you lose, it's fucking the end of the world and you try to get it done.  Here you have more room for losses.” - WR Louis Murphy from 2 time national champion Florida.  This quote is the most stomach churning of all to me.  It shows how this team is an absolute mess and completely Jamarcused (fucked up).  Even when we get it right and draft a great player who has the desire to win hardwired into his brain (watch this guy EVERY play, he is ALWAYS moving, making blocks, hustling, WANTING TO WIN) we will manage to fuck it up.  I hope he gets traded just so he doesnt get Raider cancer and lose his awesome work ethic and drive.

AND my personal fav just because it sums everything up:

“I haven’t been here long, but it’s been interesting. It’s my third year, and there’s never a dull moment . . . guys are like, `What happened? Oh.’ Then it’s back to work. Nothing surprises you any more.” – DE Jay Richardson on playing in Oakland

Monday, November 2, 2009


I will admit, I didnt believe the rumors that you were even getting up at 6:30AM this weekend to study game film but the work definitely showed!  The payoff?

14 of 22 attempts, 109 yards, only 1 INT!  56.3 passer rating.  DUH......DUH DUH DUH.....DUH DUH DUH...DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUH.  You were a regular Rocky today!  Wonder if Burgess Meredith was also helping you try to catch chickens that early in the morning?  Im guessing not since you were sacked 5 times.

I also liked how your 2nd throw of the day was right to Cromartie.  Too bad he doesnt play for us - it was the most accurate throw you had.  Then, to ensure you didnt get picked off again, every pass from then on was about 10 yards ahead, behind, left or right of the receiver.  Maybe its because you keep practicing that mean sky hook of yours.....KEEP YOUR FEET PLANTED YOU MORON!  THIS ISNT BASKETBALL!

Somehow the Chargers are bad enough to let us creep back in this game but you still stink.  Rumor has it you get the start again next time.  AWESOME.  I expect nothing less from the organization and Al at this point.

As Tob Cable said after your epic performance:  “He seemed very much to be in control today," Cable said. "A couple throws he’d probably like to have over again, but for the most part he gave us a chance to win today."

OR as Mr. Balboa said for himself after the game, "I did a pretty good job."

See you in two weeks Chet.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

I think I'll call you Chet

Look the same, smell the same for sure.

I fully expect us to get beatdown by the Chargers.  Im thinking a final score of 47-10.  I can't BELIEVE you got another chance to start but hey crazy Al seems to think INTs and fumbles are positive events for a QB.

If you EVER, EVER had one ounce of self-respect you would play your heart out Sunday but I know you're 30 million is staring you in the face like those GIECO ads and you won't give a damn.

Is it 2010 yet?

Monday, October 26, 2009


You have done it. You have supplanted Ryan Leaf as THE biggest bust of the NFL draft EVER. Leaf is dancing in his Texas jail cell as he is being replaced in the record books by your awfulness. You will be forever remembered as the quintessential overpaid, over-hyped, me-first, could care less football player that has so much talent but is rewarded on potential and not proof. Your pay to performance ratio will undoubtedly change the rules of football contracts as we know it with the new collective bargaining agreement. Rookie salary cap anyone?

To you, its just about counting that $30 million guaranteed. To you, its not how you win or lose, just how you eat the gumbo.

After you got benched, you were laughing on the sideline?

Maybe it was at your stat line:

6-11 61 yards 2 INTS, 1 lost fumble - QB rating 31.1

Gradkowski, your TOLEDO COLLEGE backup played twice as good as you after you were benched and actually drove the team into Jets territory. He was drafted in the 6th round. He makes the league minimum $450,000.

Tom was sharp as ever Sunday with this keen observation of Jamarcus' play: "I thought he was really out of sorts early in the game,” Cable said. “I just did not feel like at that point he gave us the best chance to have the success we needed to have offensively and made the move."

But Tom Cable has promised more JaMarcus next week! The show MUST go on! According to dear leader Al, er, Tom, "JaMarcus will continue to be our starter. There is no issue there.” Probably because Russell disagreed with coach and said he felt "just fine but that the results weren’t there." Maybe this is what the auto and banking industries should have told Congress to get off the hook.

I actually though that was your curtain call, your final performance before you fade into obscurity and then found years later in some Maury Povich expose where you have exploded into a gelatinous supernova and have to be removed from your home by tow truck. But Al and Tom wants to make sure there will never be a challenge to your throne. I agree. Plus this blog lives to see another day.

All hail the king!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A word to NFL coaches....

A word to other NFL coaches: Never ever EVER let your QB talk to Jamarcus. Apparently his suckness rubs off on them if you do. Thanks Andy Reid!

Now on to Jamarcus. Anyone catch his JaMohawk today?

17 of 28, 224 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs 68.2 rating. Your best effort this year but dont start thinking about MVP trophies just yet. 68.2 is still horrible and those INTs were your usual "I dont know whos who out there" overthrow madness.

Lets thank the defense, Zach Miller and Justin Fargas for pulling this one out. Super props go to rookie Louis Murphy who threw two HUGE blocks to open up Miller for the score. We're still in for a long season but that was a nice win.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Fat slob or just overstuffed with potential?

Well, Raider fans, coaches, and bloggers have been spouting this "potential" and "upside" vomit the last three years, here's how he improved on last weeks game:

8-13, 100 yards, 0 TDs 0 INTS, OK no turnovers....oh wait.....3 FUMBLES!?! Also you were sacked six times since you are completely immobile. But let's not blame you, it's your fat's fault.

Apparently you and work ethic dont get along. However, we have a pretty banged up OL, maybe soon you can start making holes for Fargas and Bush! That must be Tom Cable's plan all along - create a new super-back position that can play the C and QB position combined!

This team is so horrid, so awful, so mismanaged and broken, it's going to take years to fix but since Al wont die, you gotta go blubber boy. And no that pic IS NOT doctored, you're that fat.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Two reasons

....that I expect you to to suck more than you've sucked before and that's saying ALOT.


and this:

I would have had 3 if Eli wasnt hurt even though I think Manning with one arm and no legs could somehow do better than you.

I cant wait to see what kind of worst QB records you break this week. Hey, Akili Smith and Ryan Leaf are counting on you!

Tom Cable is probably praying for jail before game time.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Where my Raider fan money goes...

Isn't this guy's fur coat awesome? Just look at it! (Apologies to "look at my striped shirt! Great to know us Raider fans paid for it. Love to see this guy living the high life with his guaranteed $29 million and his 42.4 passer rating. Oh, and this gem taken recently at a Bay Area nightclub.

Look at my gut! Just look at it! Jesus fucking Christ! That isnt a quarterback, its Big Pussy from The Sopranos. The Biggest Loser jokes are just too easy. What the fuck is his problem? Other than his weight problems, accuracy problems, decision making problems, motivational problems....

Oh and since this blog started week 4, lets do a throwback stat post to week 3 where he faced the now 4-0 Denver Broncos. 12 for 21....for 61 yards! WTF? That's not throwing a football thats playing hot potato. Add the 2 INTS that looked like he was playing for Denver and you get an astronomically low 22.6 passer rating. Thats like scoring 100 on your SATs - I didnt think the test could score so low....

PS - from ESPN today:

Player News (last updated: October 7, 2009)
News: According to CBS analyst Boomer Esiason, Russell has already been fined heavily for being overweight and being late to meetings, the LA Times reports.

Maybe the Raiders need to hire this guy for Jamarcus Pyle:

As the sergeant says, we're payin' for it......

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!

Augh, after reading a ton of Raider blogs, I have this to say:

STOP DRINKING THE KOOL-AID. This guy is NOT our QB of the future, nor any team's QB of the future. How many years does it take for him to develop? He's had 3 freaking years and he's only gotten worse. Especially if you believe the rumors of him not even studying game film. Augh.
The team has a lot of problems, most noticibly at the top (but the die Al die blog is for another day. One goon at a time...). But it starts with J-Bust.
The blogs that defended him really buy this guy will eventually be all world talent. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. They say that or do one of two things:
1. Blame the offensive line. Did you see Aaron Rodgers last night? He had no offensive linemen that could stop the pass rush, was on his back half the game but still put up some impressive numbers. Do you know that the Texans were putting NINE (yes thats 9 out of a possible 11 players) in the box against the run on us? You know what that means? It means that Texas essentially said, "Yeah, your guy sucks."
2. Blame the recievers. Yes they dropped passes but they need passes that are within 10 yards of them to catch it. Russell clearly isnt communicating well with his wideouts in the huddle and thats another reason he must go, hes not a team leader.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

This guy sucks

12-33 for 128 yards and a nifty 48.5 QB rating. Awesome.
Well, at least no INTs this week.
Yes, this picture is from another game where Jamarcus stunk up the place but Im too busy throwing up to find a new one.
This guy needs to GO.